KCC v Covid-19 Match report 2020

19 April – 11 July                           Covid-19                  Lost by 18 wkts fixtures

    They  300/0 in 12 weeks (Corona 143*, Lockdown 131*, N.Vector 0/110)

    We    50/18                   (Nayar 22, T.Keleher 15, B.Johnson 5/15, Hancock 4/28) 

2020, hitherto known as the shortest format of the game (not counting KCC collapses), unleashed a sinister alter ego onto unsuspecting cricket lovers at the start of the season. An unexpected fixture was forced upon us. Covid-19, an opponent who no one had heard of until February, was decimating cricket at all levels and was determined to intrude on our bucolic calendar. 

We faced them bravely for all of 12 weeks but proved no match for them. Their opening pair, Corona and Lockdown, got off to a steady start, then capitalised on the reluctance of the unwary who refused to use personal protective equipment and dropped several chances with their unwashed hands in the slip cordon. Once settled in, Corona spread his wings and became impossible to contain. Lockdown was slow at first but soon made his presence felt blocking all our efforts to break free. Our star bowler, Natural Vector, was scorned by Boris, their skipper, and soon lost his shine. Covid-19 reached an awesome total of 300 in 12 weeks before Boris reluctantly declared on the advice of his spiritual guru, Soshal Distan Singh.

Tea was not allowed to be taken (being a super-spreader, you see). Moreover, having deprived us earlier of completing our indoor practice sessions at Lord’s, Boris now decreed that our innings be ‘Played from Home’. Neeraj Nayar did his best to keep the flagging spirits of KCC alive through a series of virtual Stammtisches on Zoom – “Watch your hands, protect your wicket, save wides”. We lost a lot of fixtures on the way – key ones of Richmond, Hampstead, Old Westminsters and Northwood were dismissed early; new ones of Radlett, Finchley and Hemel Hempstead fell without opening their account; and the older ones of Dunsfold, Nomads and Reigate Pilgrims were considered too vulnerable to face the virus and had to be shielded. Fortunately, Tim Keleher was able to counterattack by rearranging some other fixtures for a later date once the Covid-19 wave had abated. Boris Johnson was the chief destroyer of our innings, aided and abetted by his sidekick Matt Hancock.

It was also an unfair contest. The opponents were invisible and together, we were stuck indoors and isolated. How does one strike an unseen virus for six? And the umpiring was dodgy with so many different interpretations of the rules. We most certainly do not want a rematch, ever!